I have stopped having the repeated dream and waking up early in the morning but I still dream of him. Each night.
Last
night in my dream I experienced something that has only happened a few
times before... I realized I was dreaming and I knew what was going on
and I was actively participating in the dream. Well, as actively as
possible for being in dreamland. I guess this is what is called lucid
dreaming. It is rare when it happens but when it does it is fun.
I
have recently come to find out that Jason and I are being talked about
in the office. This frustrates me a bit. Not that there is really
anything to talk about but there is talking happening behind our backs.
I honestly don't act any different toward him than I do with my boys
from back home. I'm flirtatious in a friendly way. I feel as though
everyone is in the mindset that men and women can't be just friends.
(granted, I wouldn't mind being more but friends is all we are) Just
because we are straight and single does not mean that there is
something going on. But, even if there was... IT IS NOT ANY OF THEIR
F*CKING BUSINESS!
In other news...I wrote a story for
class the other day and it amazes me sometimes how you can write
something and it gives you a revelation and a kind of closure. I wrote
about a relationship that I had that lasted too long. He was an asshole
and wouldn't commit and yet I stayed around. I never realized just how
STUPID I was until I wrote this story. It was a great cleansing
experience. I realized a lot of things. It was so therapeutic. It has
taken a year and 8 months but I have finally resolved a lot of things.
I wish I would have written this story earlier. I don't think I was
ready though. Now I feel free.
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